Human Training

[Mudgie]

I was given a book recently called "one Hundred Ways for a Dog to Train its human" it is quite americanised especially in their use of the word chocolate as a treat however I find it very amusing and wanted to share some of it with you....  Will post some from it over the next few days    Remeber this is from a dog's perspective..

So a couple for today are:

Master or Servant?

There is a misconception that your human will take you for a walk.  This suggests that they will lead you.  Wrong.  The lead is affixed to you, therefore the responsibility lies with you in the direction of travel.  Go where you want; your human will follow.  If they try to restrain you, make some loud gagging and coughing noise when other people are around.  Your human will fear that someone may report them for cruelty, and will therefore ease off the restraining.  Always use this point in time to run faster. 

[Mudgie]

Master or Servant?

Just remember who shovels the poo up.  there's your answer. 

[xtine]

  sooo true..... more, more please 

[*Nat*]

Ha ha very funny   

[Mudgie]

Always be the first to greet your human when they returnhome from work i nthe evening.  Your welfare is the reason why they have gone to work.  They need to earn money to buy you food and pay your vet's bills.  Be the first to greet them , and don't let them in the door untily they've spent at least twenty-five minutes making a fuss of you.  Show them that you appreciate why then spend so long at work.

[Mudgie]

When humans return home from shopping, don't let them put the shopping away immediately.  Force them to wait while you examine the contents of all the bags first.  Let's face it, you're not allowed to go shopping with them and so you ought to inspect what they've spent their money on.  Keep checking all the bags on several occasions.  Try to action this on a random basis.  Only then can you help by unloading the contents of the bags all over the floor.

[kerrie and stan]

  they are great

[Mudgie]

From time to time humans try to bark orders at you.  Sit, stay, paw, roll over - the list is endless.   If you decide to join in do it only for treats.  Don't do it for free.  Once you start it is a slippery slope to them controlling you.

[Mudgie]

Part of the joy of joining a new family is exploring the new home and its garden.  Your first few days in the home should be spent tasting everything.  Banisters, carpets, furniture, plastic storage containers and even human beings, all should be given a sniff, lick and a bite.  Humans may try to persuade you not to do this.  Get round this by doing it while they're not looking.  Remember to look innocent if the chair leg you've been chewing collapses when a human sits down on it. 

[kerrie and stan]

  roflol

[Mudgie]

Drooling gallons of saliva on a trouser leg (or even better - tights) will encourage your human to provide you with regular titbits.