A woman takes a very limp duck into a vets. She lays her pet on the table and the vet pulls out his stethoscope and listens to the birds chest. After a moment or two, he shakes his head and says “I’m sorry, your pet is dead. The distressed woman wails, “Are you sure?”. “Yes I’m sure, the duck is dead.” he replies
“How can you be so sure? ” she protests. “I mean, you haven’t done any testing-he might be in a coma or something.” The vet rolls his eyes, and leaves the room. He returns with a black Labrador. The ducks owner looks on in amazement as the dog stands on his hind legs, puts his front paws on the table & sniffs the duck from top to bottom. He looks at the vet with sad eyes & shakes his head.
The vet pats the dog, takes it out & returns with a cat. The cat jumps on the table sniffs the bird from beak to tail & back, looks at the vet, shakes it head, jumps down & leaves the room. The vet looks at the woman & says “I’m sorry, but this duck is most definitely, 100%, certifiably, a dead duck. He turns to his computer, hits a few keys, & produces a bill. Still in shock, she takes the bill “£450!” she cries. “That much to tell me the duck is dead.”
The vet shrugs. “If you’d taken my word for it, it would have been £30, but with the lab report & the cat scan, well, it all adds up.